Well I wasn’t planning on moving out of Rochester again this soon. But when opportunity calls you gotta run to it. I got a full ride to Akron university and It’s going to be quite the adventure… I still don’t have a apartment… but… hopefully I’ll find on right?
It’s a little nerve wracking.
I have all this audition music…and the only thing giving me issues is the fricken sorcerers apprentice.. which is funny cause it should be the easiest of the pieces… my luck
but anyhow.. they are playing mJoarriage or figaro in orchestra! so i gotta practice hard core cause how fricken epic would it be to play that? really fricken epic..
but mostly epic.
Jose is gonna move with me so i wont have to be all sad and miss him :D
I gotta study hardcore and do really good weeeee
I have trouble believing that a God who stands for such good things just sits back and watches bad things happen and doesn’t do anything about it.
I guess I have two theories on God.. he’s either like a watchmaker.. made the world.. just sits back and watches it and doesn’t inter fear or do anything.. or he just picks and chooses who he wants to help in life.. and leaves the rest of us to fend on our own…
The bible says that God loves us all the same .. but i just don’t see how.. how some people have guardian angels that lift them out of the dirt and some don’t… How God watches over some people.. and just watched others…
I know God didn’t make this happen.. but he didn’t stop it either.. and if he’s so powerful he should of been able to and he just watched it.
It doesn’t make any sense to me.. and i feel like he is just shoveling a pile of manure on my moms head.. her whole life.. and every time she crawls out and is able to breath he throws another heap on top of her.. and she crawls out and yet again just throws the shit on her head… and this time he dumped a whole truck load to insure that she wouldn’t get out in a long time..
Seems like it’s easy to believe when nothing wrong has every happened to you.. i see all these people who’s parents stayed together they haven’t ever had to experience death and they believe… why wouldn’t they their life isn’t bad… God watches out for them…
I pray and pray that things will get better.. but you know, I’m not even sure he is listening.. I prayed he’s keep my family safe and that didn’t go so well.. every one says to just lean on him and it will be better… but they don’t get that I am angry… he can foresee the future he knows everything before it happens.. so why does he let such shitty things happen it doesn’t make sense.. he loves everyone the same.. so why does he let some people be born with opportunity and others be born out in little mud huts where they die before they get the chance to live.. that doesn’t sound like love to me.why bother making us live on earth in the first place.
I thought i knew God.. but now i am trying to find him.. and i can’t i don’t know where he went but he hasn’t been here for a while and i wish he would show up.